The Unique Considerations for LGBTQAI+ Funeral Planning

June 12, 2026

Reflections on Death, Relationships, and Healing: How Pre-Planning a Funeral Can Bring Families Together

For any family, end-of-life planning involves preparing legal documents, making healthcare decisions, and documenting preferences for disposition, memorialization, and financial matters. For LGBTQIA+ individuals and families, planning often requires additional considerations to ensure identity, relationships, and chosen family are recognized and respected throughout the end-of-life process.


While progress has been made, disparities still exist within healthcare, legal, and institutional systems. Thoughtful planning can help protect your wishes and provide peace of mind for the people you love.


Earlier this year, we worked with a family whose experience highlighted why these conversations are so important.


Mara* was a beloved transgender woman who died unexpectedly. Mara's mother belonged to a religious community that did not recognize transgender identities. After years of estrangement, Mara's inner circle worried that her mother could be identified as next of kin and gain authority over decisions that might not reflect Mara's identity, relationships, or wishes. 


In this challenging case, Mara's mother could not be reached. While this reduced the likelihood that decisions would be made contrary to Mara's wishes, it also disrupted the normal decision-making process and created uncertainty during an already difficult time. As timelines advanced, Mara's community was left navigating legal and logistical challenges while trying to honor the person they loved.


The following sections explore common challenges LGBTQIA+ individuals may face during medical emergencies, funeral planning, and estate administration, and the steps that can help protect their wishes.

Medical Emergencies, Illness, and Hospitalization or Hospice Care 

In the event of emergency or hospitalization, these are challenges that LGBTQIA+ face at higher rates than the general population: 

  • Chosen family or community as a whole not being recognized
  • Unmarried partners being excluded from decision-making
  • Taking off life support 
  • Approving and disapproving treatment 
  • Estranged relatives, who are next of kin, becoming default decision-makers 
  • Incorrect names, pronouns, or gender identities being used
  • Ceasing of gender-affirming care 


What Can Help: Advance Health Care Directives

Advance Health Care Directives are legal documents that let you state your medical wishes in advance and designate someone to make healthcare decisions for you if you're unable to communicate them yourself.


An Advance Health Care Directive is a legal document that allows you to:

  • Name a healthcare agent to make medical decisions on your behalf if you cannot communicate your wishes
  • Document your preferences regarding treatment and end-of-life care


A healthcare agent can:

  • Speak with doctors and care teams
  • Access medical information
  • Consent to or refuse treatment
  • Make decisions based on your stated wishes and values
  • In California, the heathcare agent has “post-death authority” and can make decisions about organ donation, autopsy authorization, and the final disposition of your remains.


You can also document preferences with things such as:

  • CPR and resuscitation
  • Life support
  • Mechanical ventilation
  • Pain management
  • Organ donation


Without an Advance Health Care Directive, healthcare providers generally turn to next of kin as defined by state law. That person may not be the individual you would choose to speak on your behalf, or uphold your wishes. 


Important Considerations for Advanced Healthcare Directives

Once your directive is completed:

  • Share copies with your healthcare agent
  • Upload a copy to MyChart or similar patient portals
  • Provide copies to trusted family members or chosen family
  • Consider sharing a copy with your chosen funeral home
  • Keep a digital copy on your phone or in an accessible cloud storage account for easy access in an emergency


Braeden Cohen, CEO and co-founder of LifeSource, recommends notarizing Advance Health Care Directives whenever possible. "Getting it notarized is the most protective way to complete an Advance Health Care Directive. You can even find 24-hour notary services. Simply letting people know what you want is not going to guarantee that you get what you want."



Chase, funeral director and cofounder at LifeSource, who has worked in funeral service for 14 years, says he encounters approximately one case a year where a lack of documentation creates complications for an LGBTQIA+ family


"People don't understand that once you get to the hospital setting, the rules completely and utterly change." Good intentions and verbal understandings do not carry weight once medical and legal systems become involved, so he recommends keeping a digital copy of your directive readily accessible so it can be provided quickly in an emergency.

LGBTQAI+ Funeral Planning and Disposition Decisions

The person making healthcare decisions before death is not necessarily the same person who has legal authority over final disposition after death.


In most cases, documents that authorize someone to act on your behalf while you are alive, such as a Medical Power of Attorney or Advance Health Care Directive, expire upon death. In California, a health agent named on an Advanced Healthcare Directive has legal rights to make decisions on final disposition.


Without proper planning, LGBTQIA+ individuals may face challenges such as:
  • Chosen family being excluded from arrangements
  • Disagreements over burial or disposition choices
  • Memorial services that do not reflect a person's identity
  • Deadnaming or misgendering in obituaries and memorial materials


What can help: 


A prearranged funeral plan can help ensure your wishes are clearly documented and followed. Chase emphasizes the value of preplanning, "We (LifeSource) follow the pre-need to a T. The only time there are issues is when there are inaccuracies in the documentation."

After Death: Protecting Loved Ones

As with medical care and funeral planning, if not documented, property and assets may fall to next of kin be default. Not having a will may create challenges around: 

  • Property and inheritance disputes
  • Loss of housing for partners not recognized by law
  • Loss of shared assets
  • Loss of pets and animals


What to Do 
  • Create wills and estate planning documents
  • Outline beneficiary designation in insurance policies and the like
  • Create a pet care outline
  • Have clear communication with loved ones and share your documents


Chase reminds families that these documents can and should be updated as circumstances change.


"You can always override older documents with new documentation. Be sure to update names and dates. As long as the new documents are properly executed, they will supersede older versions."


End-of-life planning is an opportunity to ensure your identity, relationships, values, and wishes are respected. For LGBTQIA+ individuals and families, thoughtful planning can help protect chosen family, reduce conflict, and provide clarity during some of life's most difficult moments.

The best time to create these documents is before they are needed.

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Green Burial and Natural Burial: Are There Differences?

November 4, 2026
If you’re learning about green burial and natural burial, you may wonder if there are any differences between these terms. In most contexts, they mean the same thing: returning the body to the earth using biodegradable materials, without conventional embalming or a burial vault. Both allow for a simple return to nature, allowing the body to become part of the living landscape once again. The language can become confusing because “Green Burial” is sometimes used broadly to describe other options such as terramation (aka human composting) and aquamation (aka water cremation) . When discussing eco-friendly options that do not involve burying a body, “Green Funerals” or “Green Death Care” are more accurate terms. What is Natural Burial Natural burial is the practice of allowing the body to decompose naturally in the earth. With minimal intervention, the body’s nutrients return to the earth through the work of naturally occurring decomposition. Though practices vary by cemetery, you’ll generally see natural and green burial outlined as: Avoiding conventional embalming or toxic preservation fluids. Forgoing vaults or concrete liners. Using caskets or shrouds made of renewable, natural, & biodegradable materials. Choosing simple natural markers that complement the landscape. The surrounding landscape may look different from a conventional cemetery, too. In some natural burial grounds, native grasses, wildflowers, and trees take the place of meticulously manicured lawns. A natural burial can take place in: An uncertified natural burial ground or cemetery. A Green Burial Council-certified cemetery. A hybrid cemetery- a conventional cemetery that allows natural burial in dedicated sections. Private property burial may also be an option in some locations, depending on state and local requirements. In California, in limited rural areas, a small private or family cemetery can be established through strict licensing and approvals. You can learn more about establishing a private cemetery here. Is Green Burial Different from Natural Burial? In most cases, no. Both terms describe a full-body burial that allows for natural decomposition in the earth. The use of the term “natural” emphasizes the process of returning to the earth with limited intervention, while “green” emphasizes environmental considerations. The priorities go hand in hand: simpler burial materials and fewer interventions allow for a more eco-friendly and direct return to the earth. The key distinction here is the word burial. Aquamation, Cremation, and Terramation are not forms of burial, but dispositions that reduce the body with an alkaline solution, fire, or natural decomposition. They transform the body in a controlled environment before returning the resulting remains to the earth. Cremation and aquamation produce remains from bones, commonly called “ashes”, while terramation produces “soil” or compost (you’ll also hear the term reduced remains- we cover this in this post about terramation terminology here ). Families may choose to bury or scatter these remains, but this is a separate step. With natural and green burial, the body’s transformation takes place within the earth. Green Burial and Green Death Care You’ll see that “green burial” is occasionally used interchangeably with “green death care”. However, green death care is an umbrella term for environmentally conscious funeral options, and green and natural burial fall underneath this umbrella. Aquamation and terramation are separate processes that can also fall within green death care. Think of green death care as a broad spectrum- caring for someone after death while considering the resources used, materials left behind, and the impact on the environment. Green death care can encompass both disposition choices and individual practices, including: Natural or green burial. Aquamation (water cremation). Terramation (human composting). Full-body burial at sea using appropriate biodegradable materials. Choosing simpler, biodegradable funeral products. Avoiding conventional embalming or choosing less toxic body-care options when preparation is desired. Reducing the environmental impact of conventional services through changes in materials, transportation, or energy use. Supporting carbon-offset projects. What Does Green Burial Certification Mean? The Green Burial Council has different certification standards for cemeteries, funeral homes and products. Certification provides a framework for evaluating specific practices and helping families understand what a provider offers. For cemetery certification, cemeteries undergo an evaluation and are scored based on outlined criteria. It is important to note that the Green Burial Council does not conduct compliance checks after initial certification. Certification can help families find providers and compare their practices. However, Green Burial Council certification is voluntary and not required to arrange a natural burial. An uncertified cemetery may still allow a burial that follows natural burial practices. See a beautiful example of a Los Angeles’ family’s experience of natural burial here . LifeSource had the honor of guiding this family in preparing a natural burial for their loved one, Maria. LifeSource had the honor of guiding this family in preparing a natural burial for their loved one, Maria. Her wishes were inspired by the simplicity of Jewish burial traditions and the meaning she found in returning directly to the earth. Her story illustrates how natural burial can reflect both personal beliefs and a connection to nature.  Considering Green or Natural Burial in Southern California? Whether you are planning ahead or caring for someone who has died, LifeSource can help you explore a return to the earth that reflects your values. Our team can explain natural burial arrangements, discuss available cemetery options, and help you understand each step. Exploring other paths? LifeSource offers the following dispositions: Terramation Aquamation Flame Cremation Burial at Sea Natural Burial (covered here)